IceDragon64's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Drag And Drop Tutorial]

Good tut.

+Good art
+good text, inc good english (rare for NG!)
+well explained
+all workable, as far as I know
+good options
+robot download!

-poor choice of font. The font looks cool but isn't very readable and it should be in a tutorial with words we need to get right, including AS we need to get . on perfect.
-The best thing about the overloud not-my-taste music was the off button.

[Halo Havoc]

You persisted and got through- well done!

+ OK art & animation
+quite addictive
+ nice results for winning and losing

-How about this for text:
"You have to get as many gold bars as possible, surviving for 2 minutes without the imps catching you" and
"Avoid these enemies [Spelt thus] all the time"
-You have the imps stats but I could not find the others stats or thier names?
-was there any point in having the crown removable? It looks like you had unfinished ideas here.
-maybe have random moving clouds in the game?
- since some people think the game should have tougher enemies, maybe you should put in an easy option and a hard option. Certainly the only frightening thing about the third bad guy is his size and the fact that there are now 3 on the screen. Why is the first guy the only one who fires at you?
-You could touch up the art quite easily with a bit of gradient on the angel and God; also a better face on God.
-Better wing flapping would be good.
Hi-scores would be good, but if that's too hard (I have no idea how you do it!) then just put in some samples of score- either put in some names of people's top scores eg- IceDragon64- 34 showing a range for people to compare with in the winning scene or give the score groupings eg.
0-10 Wimps
11-33 So-So
34-50 Cool
50-70 Go Go Golders
70+ Archangels.
If you decide to do a whole lot of improvements and aim for 3+ then pm me and we will plan to do everything you can in one hit and do a final resubmission. Then if you have done as they asked pm your reviewers and watch the review score rise!
Best wishes,
Ice

[ID Movie Clip Tutorial]

Another nice one.

I asked you to make more in this style and you did- Thank you!

I had not thought of using a movie clip to continue music- does that mean it continues beyond a 'stop all music' instruction?

there are even less errors in this one. I will send you a detailed edit if you want, after you update the last tut.

I am not sure if it is such a good idea to give up to three different ways of doing the same thing- I think it may be confusing to a beginner. Perhaps, instead just put in a note somewhere taking the veiwer to alternatives or something.
As many people submit tutorials it is hard to get a good score in tuts, so you are doing well- the reviewer before me has the top reviews per day in all of NG, so you can imagine he has seen plenty!
PM me any time. I like your style
Best Wishes,
Ice

IceyDrummer responds:

thanks man, umm the stop all music does exactally what it says, no matter what im pretty sure it stops the music, ya, another thing for movie clips is eyes, there they blink every "Enter you number" frame(s) lol but thx for the review i have been busy with band and stuff so i havn't had really any time to fix things and i have finals this week so i don't no when i can fix the stuff

[Factory Escape]

good

I enjoyed it as far a s I got but I can't figure out how to get further. I switched on the power and opened the door- went through and I cnat figure out how to get beyond the big black slope thing! I have tried jumping, higher jumping and wall jumping. I think maybe I have to backflip over it, but I cant backflip that close to the wall. I can see there is a power thing and something way up top but I can't see any way to get there
Damn!

nice controls and instructions. OK graphics & animation

a few spelling errors:
againts/against conrtol/control controled/controlled

[DU #2 (P-BOT)]

Good

+ Good rendition of P Bot
+ Some nice alternative backgrounds
+ Cool music
+ Nice options, neatly done
+ Animated eyes

- music off button is usual these days
-rather short music loop
-you might put in music options
-you mihgt put in a background that relates to NG more specifically, such as an image of the Portal screen or 'inside the NG world.
-To take it to another level, you could put in more random or humourous options, ideally clicking to another page or something to save space.

[ID Button Tutorial]

Yes, I like this!

+clear
+well written
+pleasant music with off button
+good diagrams
+example of button
+full explanation

There are a few text errors- which I list here, but the english isn't bad by NG standards. Please consider making the next step in buttons from this is the same quality, clear style.
Text errors in order:
Title-Tutoria/Tutorial - tutoria is plural and this is all one tut.

usally/usually; lets/let's; conver/convert; do no/not release; somthing/something; actions pannel/panel; buy/by clicking; couple OF frames

It needs credits including music- "text edited by IceDragon64" would be nice!
Best Wishes,
Ice

IceyDrummer responds:

lol thank you for the review this can def be helpful, i will look for these errors, and we will c...about the text edited yes i did forget to give credit to the song and i will fix that asap!

[Bomb-omb Blast!]

OK little game

I made 555!

you could do an explosion when thebomb-ombs hit him. You could make levels , with more and more bomb-ombs and/or moving faster, but its all OK.

[Fan Game 0.39]

Good game

+ Fan effect was good
+ Interesting interaction with starry blocks, I got stuck amongst them sometimes, even pushing right through once. I found I got stuck to them on level 6, which was challenging
+Lots to do, building up with more challenges.

-Sound would be so good. Maybe music, with choices and more importantly, an off button for music. A fan sound would be so good and a nice roley plop sound when the 'critters' fall down the holes, or even a long, drawn out ahhhhhh! as if falling down a deep hole. A fanfare or something when you make it to the end of a level and a bad sound when you fail. You could have a rolling sound, like marbles or ball bearings on glass when the balls more.

I got to level five in a few minutes and found it easier than I expected, shooting through first time in a few seconds. THEN!
I stayed on level six for two hours (well about ten minutes!) trying again and again. twice I made a run for it with all four against the evil triangles, having somehow got past the holes, but no... I never made it!
I dont play games much, but Ive never seen one like this. the fan idea is great and I think I will recomend it to Codester, who likes this kind of thing.
Best Wishes,
Ice

LuckyLollipopLad responds:

Getting stuck/pushing through the blocks is actually an error in my coding. I'm not the most proficient coder yet.

You're totally right about the sfx. Fan sounds would totally rock, if it was subtle, with maybe altering volume based on speed...

I wanted to make sure the 7 levels culminated in a real challenge. Maybe I went too far. And playing through again, maybe 6/7 are in the wrong order.

The trick in level 6 is in circling the fan round the critters to 'round them up' before you make a quick run for it past the enemies.

Glad you enjoyed it. I'll make an effort to source suitable sfx and will continue trying to improve my level design.

Thanks again for the reviews!

Stay funky,
- Bez

[NG Sketchbook Tour 06]

some great art, but...

Not much of a Flash. I did pass it but only just. If it were not for a few exceptional pictures I think most people would not have passed it. At the end of the day its more or less a slide show and if it were not for the circumstances it would not have a place here.
I do feel that something could, some how be done to it or with it, it might be the start of an animation that woudl be much more interesting.

[Katakana Game v0.25]

Good game + educational

Got to level 15 but Im too tired to concentrate. If your mind wanders for a few seconds, you don't take the character in and feel like a fool presented with a whole lot of them and you dont have a clue!
Music OK, but I turned it off to concentrate, you might put in a few music options. Nice textured paper background, like we were writing on it.
Use this in conjuction with Caler's JapaneaseLesson1 and learn a language on NewGrounds. You might contact him and explore working together, we PM'ed and he's nice.
I thought I would have lots to suggest but your to do list is exhaustive- do you have any life elsewhere? lol
No seriously, the pronunciation thing would definately be good, it would help it to come to life and to be something to really learn from.
Personally I would prefer it if we didn't have the characters turning round quite so soon and we got to see more characters before they started repeating quite so quickly.
You could put in a choice of music and you could tell us more about these characters. Just info buttons, like mine, give the player the option without interfering with the game. eg. What are these characters? How/where are they used? How common is this alphabet?/language? How does it relate to other languages? these and other related questions give the enquiring mind the background which may inspired them to persist and get into the game and feel they are really learning something. You and Caler should definately negociate links from each others Flash.
I don't play games much so when I say I might come back, or show the double gang this, that is something.
Best Wishes,
IceDragon64 of the Dragons & Spirits

LuckyLollipopLad responds:

Hey! Thanks for the awesome reviews!

"If your mind wanders for a few seconds, you don't take the character in and feel like a fool presented with a whole lot of them and you dont have a clue!"

I noticed whilst testing that on a couple of occasions, I kinda yawned, closed my eyes, and had no idea what to click.

When I eventually put voices in, hopefully that'll help with that problem.

I hadn't known about Cayler's entry. Checked it out and there's some cool things about it. Linking to his tutorial is a cool idea.

I spend a lot of my life thinking about Flash productions and stuff I want to do. I aim to be a game designer. This is the kinda thing that gets me going.

I'll change the rotation to only start when the kRating is higher.

Repeating? Am I right in understanding that you made a mistake and then did that same character a few times? It currently just picks the one with the lowest kRating (i.e. the one I think you know the least), which I now realise is a flaw. I'll change it so it checks the last... 5 and makes sure it's not one of those.

Thanks for all the questions one might wonder about the alphabet. I'll do my best to answer them in the next edition, coming soon.

Glad you liked it!

Stay funky,
- Bez